ADHD and othor dissorders

I hope there is a remedy out there for these mental problems I've had most of my life. I looked into anicardium but I wanted to get some advice first.

I am a 22 year old male and here is my problem. I have a very hard time being honest with people. I live in a perpetual state of self loathing. I have this voice in the back of my head constantly telling me how worthless I am, how I'm not good enough. so, I embellish the truth, leave out details, or just flat out lie to make me seem better. this of course makes me feel worse about myself. I crave human companionship and physical contact to the point where I actively seek out discussions with strangers, and even cheated on my wife to avoid feeling lonely.

I have a very active imagination living out elaborate fantasies and daydreams. most of the time I'm some kind of worrier or hero. the problem is that sometimes the lies I tell and the fantasies get blurred into reality. I also tend to talk to myself just in my head when I'm in public, out loud when I'm alone. I think I just do it to hear myself talk.

I have a hard time staying motivated to a task, event lethargic at times. I have a constant need for auditory stimuli. yet I'm always restless I have a hard time getting to sleep at night and I can't seem to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time. I have always had a hard time with school not because I didn't understand the material, but because I couldn't bring myself to do the work. on top of that it felt like no matter how well I prepared for my exams I forget everything when it starts. the past couple of years or so I've also been having issues with memory loss, I can remember with great detail thing that happened years ago but I cant remember cleaning tasks I was given 20 minutes ago.

I've always had a difficult time with my anger, I have a very short fuse and have been known to lash out at whatever is nearby. in recent years I have learned to suppress this with a conscious effort. sometimes my emotions in general are so intense that I block them all out.

I've had some physical issues as well with my digestive system. I have a hard time with bowel movements sometimes going weeks without. I almost always have issues with nausea in the morning. my stomach is constantly distended and I always feel full, yet I can't seem to feel satisfied with food I prepare myself.

I realize I'm asking a lot trying to find an answer on a forum, but frankly doctors, drugs, they scare the hell out of me, just add paranoia to the list. if someone here could at least point me in the right direction I would be immensely grateful.
[message edited by soysos on Thu, 06 Dec 2012 06:43:39 GMT]