Depression

Hi,
it's me again. nobody posted anything for me. I am disappointed.
Can somebody tell me which is my constitutional medicine?
I only shout at my husband and my kids. I am very good for outside people.(not to my inlaws because i won't talk much i can't communicate well with them, because of inlaws fear.) everybody won't believe if i say i scream at my kids. I lose my temper at my kids and sometimes feel i should hit them badly and throw them away.
I feel like i have two wills. Should i try anacardium? or should i try kaliphos? can i take kaliphos 200 for my anxiety and tension?

Thankyou for your reply.

Still i need to find my constitutional medicine. I am confused. i am gentle, yielding to others than my family. if my husband or my daughters asks me anything my answer is always no. but after that i do the things they say. For others i can't say no. I have little thirst which suits puls. i don't need to be consoled which is opposite to puls. i want company and i like to be alone too. i can't talk to people directly but i want to talk on the phone with my friends always. it's like i talk with them confortably on phone than personally. i feel sad, discontent, boring. can't enjoy anything. If somebody says they enjoyed something, i feel jealous, i feel that i am the only saddest person in the world.

I feel that "I am not affectionate to any body. i don't love anybody". Which is opposite to puls. I can't manage anything. I feel worthless.

So Can somebody tell me which is my constitutional remedy?

hello john,
thankyou for your response.
I have inferiority complex from childhood. I can't do anything if i think someone is observing me. I am afraid to go out alone, afraid to go for shopping alone, afraid to drive, afraid to meet people, afraid to make friends( i can't conversate well. i am not talkative).

I shout a lot at my children, occationally at my husband. But if he
shouts at me, or points me for something i feel like crying. But i don't
like to be consoled. I feel i am not good at anything, like rising children,
have patience with them. i feel worthless. i feel like i don't have love for
anybody, i don't have affection towards anybody.( which is opposite to pulsatilla.)

I do things(work) very slowly. I can't manage time. Small task ,example getting ready to go out with children is big task for me. I shout at them a lot.

I get worried about my future. the more i think about future i get depressed. I get worried if my daughter says that she doesn't have any friends at school. I afraid that she ends up like me.

I like going out. But i like to stay home alone too. I want every body out and i like watching tv, like those things. but I like fresh air too.
When My younger daughter( 2yrs old) clings to me when i have work, i
feel frustrated. Then i wish i don't have children. i feel emotions like hitting her. but i don't. i feel trapped.

I don't have major health problems. not even headache. But i have shoulder pains from teenage. While writing ifeel stiffness in my shoulders and i used to stretch arms. It is still there. When i feel tension or
depressed they become more. i get aches all over my body.

I am gentle for outside people but not with my kids and husband. I
scream at my children a lot.
But i love them. it's like u have independence to shout on them.

I don't feel interest in life. Everything in life is a problem for me. I get irritated and depressed for everything.

I keep thinking of same subject for some days and i move on to another subject. Like when i started looking homeopathy forum, i was only doing that on internet. i got homeopathy books from library. i read them. i talked my symptoms with my friend, who is homeopathy doctor, she suggested taking pulsatilla 200 for three weeks once a week. i tried and i felt a bit better. but after that she said i have to wait for 3-4 months and
continue the same medicine . i was not satisfied with this. i tried taking
kaliphos 30, for one week, once daily and i felt it is better than puls. so
now i am not taking anything. what should i do next?

I won't feel thirsty. i like open air. i want to be left alone and enjoy my time like watching tv. but i like company too. I can't conversate much. but i like to listen. From childhood i have one feeling that everybody likes people who talk a lot,because i do. i had feeling that nobody wants to be friends with me. i don't have many friends.

i can't take any decision alone. i am confused. I have less memory. I hesitate to do anything in public. but i won't tremble. i feel awkward.

Can you suggest any medicine for me . Thankyou. I hope i gave you
enough details.
i didn't try sepia yet.

i am 32 yrs old. i am not undergoing any menopause stage i believe.
My menses is regular, 26-28 cycle. it lasts upto 4-5 days. scanty, dark red. Just before half day of my menses, i feel a bit stomachache, not severe. Pain in buttocks legs, and feel shoulder pain.
After one day after the menses started i feel better.
No change in moods after menses or before menses. i had two pregnancies, no miscarriages. i didn't use any medication during pregnancy. got yeast infection only one time after first pregnancy. treated with some prescribed yeast infection cream. never used anything other than condom for birth control. Not severe emotional breakdown anytime.

no hemaroids.

August 19th and sep 13th.

Just interested to know, are you qualified homeopath?

hello john,
sorry if i affended you by asking you whether you are a qualified homeopath. just i wanted to be sure.
You were asking about nervous breakdown. When i was a teenager, i was sorry that i could not make friends, i can't be happy like others, then i was thinking a lot about suicide. but afraid to do it. now i don't have that suicidal tendency. but i feel worthless.

Thankyou for your response.

I feel pain in the finger joints whenever i sew with hand. Mainly i have joint pains. I feel to stretch my joints may be because of stiffness. When i use my sewing machine, my mind becomes dull. If i do a silly thing i keep thinking about it and i feel very bad.
I have only one mole on my chin. no warts. my hair is soft and oily. i can't see far objects clearly. i have sight defect of -2.5 i both eyes from when i am a teenager.

no spots on finger nails.

hi john,
Are you still on my case?
I am very timid. one time i went to a dance performance of my daughter's senior in the dance class, after the performance, i kept on observing people that are congratulating her but i couln't go to her to congratulate. my daughter was with me.what will she learn from me? after that i kept thinking about that and i felt very bad.
in may 2004, i went for summer camp i couln't make any friends, every body made friends and were happy. i talked to some people but i couldn't talk much. so naturally i was alone in that camp for two days and i felt very bad.

i didn't use any allopathic medicines except advil and martin sometimes every month for stamachahe during menses(only one or two doses). I didn't use any antibiotics for any reason. i am overall a healthy person.