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Osteoporosis and more, chronic case for David Page 7 of 16
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As long as she washed out the bottle that should be fine.
Don't worry about the tick the simillimum heals all problems as long as the general state doesn't change.
INSTRUCTONS FOR SPLIT DOSING
Firstly, you need to create a separate dosing bottle. Get a bottle with a dropper, 15-30mls in size, and fill it with a mixture of water and alcohol (5 parts to 1 part). Dissolve 2 granules or 2 drops of the medicine you bought from the pharmacy into this mixture. Your doses will be made from this bottle.
Hit the bottle firmly against the palm of your hand, or another elastic surface like a book. It should be a firm hit not a tap. 2 hits is enough to begin with, and should not be increased unless it is clear that it is needed. The water in this bottle will 'remember' the number of times you have hit it, so that subsequent doses will be stronger (necessary to overcoming the resistance of your disease).
Place 1 drop into an amount of water - first use a full cup (250mls). Stir thoroughly and take 1 teaspoon and place it in another full cup of water. Stir again and place a teaspoon in a third cup. Stir one final time and take a teaspoon into the mouth. Throw the rest of the cups away. This is Split Dose, diluted to the Third Cup. We can add or subtract cups, or parts of cups to adjust your reaction.
This is one dose. Repeat doses would be started from the 2 hits on the bottle.
Each step of this process can be adjusted to reduced aggravation or to increase the effect of the medicine. In order to be able to do this, it is important to measure each step (count the hits, the drops, measure the water etc).
Take one dose only and keep me informed of any responses you have.
Don't worry about the tick the simillimum heals all problems as long as the general state doesn't change.
INSTRUCTONS FOR SPLIT DOSING
Firstly, you need to create a separate dosing bottle. Get a bottle with a dropper, 15-30mls in size, and fill it with a mixture of water and alcohol (5 parts to 1 part). Dissolve 2 granules or 2 drops of the medicine you bought from the pharmacy into this mixture. Your doses will be made from this bottle.
Hit the bottle firmly against the palm of your hand, or another elastic surface like a book. It should be a firm hit not a tap. 2 hits is enough to begin with, and should not be increased unless it is clear that it is needed. The water in this bottle will 'remember' the number of times you have hit it, so that subsequent doses will be stronger (necessary to overcoming the resistance of your disease).
Place 1 drop into an amount of water - first use a full cup (250mls). Stir thoroughly and take 1 teaspoon and place it in another full cup of water. Stir again and place a teaspoon in a third cup. Stir one final time and take a teaspoon into the mouth. Throw the rest of the cups away. This is Split Dose, diluted to the Third Cup. We can add or subtract cups, or parts of cups to adjust your reaction.
This is one dose. Repeat doses would be started from the 2 hits on the bottle.
Each step of this process can be adjusted to reduced aggravation or to increase the effect of the medicine. In order to be able to do this, it is important to measure each step (count the hits, the drops, measure the water etc).
Take one dose only and keep me informed of any responses you have.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Hi David,
I just took the dose carefully following your instructions. I knew I needed to take my night time meds so I took them several hours ago with my meal and then slept until about fifteen minutes ago. I just wanted to remedy to have a chance to work without taking them right after the new remedy.
I was thinking I should post a picture of my disfigured open palms which show the Depuytren's Contracture, in hopes of future improvement from the remedy. It would take a miracle. When I googled the cypraea shell yesterday and saw some images, I was struck by the similarity in shape to my closed fists which is the way my hands have become more and more.
In an earlier post I had asked you if you had helped relieve Dupuytren's Contracture in any of your patients. At this point, I would be thankful with stopping the progression of that and the osteoporosis even if reversing the progression may be impossible.
So far no new sensations..... thanks for starting out gently with this new remedy.
I just took the dose carefully following your instructions. I knew I needed to take my night time meds so I took them several hours ago with my meal and then slept until about fifteen minutes ago. I just wanted to remedy to have a chance to work without taking them right after the new remedy.
I was thinking I should post a picture of my disfigured open palms which show the Depuytren's Contracture, in hopes of future improvement from the remedy. It would take a miracle. When I googled the cypraea shell yesterday and saw some images, I was struck by the similarity in shape to my closed fists which is the way my hands have become more and more.
In an earlier post I had asked you if you had helped relieve Dupuytren's Contracture in any of your patients. At this point, I would be thankful with stopping the progression of that and the osteoporosis even if reversing the progression may be impossible.
So far no new sensations..... thanks for starting out gently with this new remedy.
tahbi last decade
tahbi last decade
A picture would actually be great, especially if it that problem changes.
Would you have expected a reaction by now, considering your experiences with other remedies?
Would you have expected a reaction by now, considering your experiences with other remedies?
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I usually do get a reaction by now, although I have never had a true similimum before. Usually I get a very obvious effect quite soon after taking the remedy and often there is one almost immediately.
It was a rare warmer day today and I made myself hike up the short but steep trail. I needed to do that to let go of any fear of the remedy and this process. It was good for me like usual but noticed no shift at all in my mental or physical being. I feel very slightly lighter but I think that is because I actually started the process and took the remedy. I have such baggage about following anyone's advice other than my own in my own time and was telling my friend yesterday, even before I took the remedy, how different this experience is from every other health practitioner for me, mainstream and holistic.... It's a first for me. Very bad life-threatening things have happened far too often by following the advice of doctors and other practitioners, including homeopaths. But I really don't feel any clear sign from the remedy.
I need to figure out how to attach images to the forum replies and then I will take some pictures of my hands. Isn't it interesting about the shape of the shell being so similar to a fist?
It was a rare warmer day today and I made myself hike up the short but steep trail. I needed to do that to let go of any fear of the remedy and this process. It was good for me like usual but noticed no shift at all in my mental or physical being. I feel very slightly lighter but I think that is because I actually started the process and took the remedy. I have such baggage about following anyone's advice other than my own in my own time and was telling my friend yesterday, even before I took the remedy, how different this experience is from every other health practitioner for me, mainstream and holistic.... It's a first for me. Very bad life-threatening things have happened far too often by following the advice of doctors and other practitioners, including homeopaths. But I really don't feel any clear sign from the remedy.
I need to figure out how to attach images to the forum replies and then I will take some pictures of my hands. Isn't it interesting about the shape of the shell being so similar to a fist?
tahbi last decade
Hi David,
I'm still doing well though I have still had no hint at all to point to the remedy working or not.
What do you think?
I'm still doing well though I have still had no hint at all to point to the remedy working or not.
What do you think?
tahbi last decade
Aggravations may appear any time within the first 3 days. If we get that far with no aggravation I will get you to repeat the remedy, unless you feel there has been a positive change.
It is possible that we have over-reacted and diluted it too far.
It is possible that we have over-reacted and diluted it too far.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Well, I was wondering about that. To be honest, I'm glad that we started of in a very gentle manner. Now I have a baseline and should be able to read future doses better.
If I have no noticeable affect by tomorrow evening and take another dose, would that be bad if the cypr-e was really working now but I did not notice it?
The psychological relief and hope from a healing modality I believe in that will not just be a band-aid, and feeling so thankful for your help and skill is huge. It's been a very long traumatic road. And to not react badly to the first dose is very rare. I've gotten so tired of my reaction drama to most every substance that is supposedly mild and that nobody else reacts to. It is strange though... not feeling any different sensation. I usually at least feel it 'kick in' with tingling in my mouth, heavy head and more. But I'm very happy to be fine and on the right path.
[message edited by tahbi on Fri, 04 Nov 2011 22:42:27 GMT]
If I have no noticeable affect by tomorrow evening and take another dose, would that be bad if the cypr-e was really working now but I did not notice it?
The psychological relief and hope from a healing modality I believe in that will not just be a band-aid, and feeling so thankful for your help and skill is huge. It's been a very long traumatic road. And to not react badly to the first dose is very rare. I've gotten so tired of my reaction drama to most every substance that is supposedly mild and that nobody else reacts to. It is strange though... not feeling any different sensation. I usually at least feel it 'kick in' with tingling in my mouth, heavy head and more. But I'm very happy to be fine and on the right path.
[message edited by tahbi on Fri, 04 Nov 2011 22:42:27 GMT]
tahbi last decade
We need to be careful not to overdose you - the right remedy, at the right potency, given at the right dosage, will be almost unnoticed by the patient. So we need to assess very thoroughly to be certain you are not beginning to feel better. Any doubt and we should wait.
Split dosing is a wonderful tool for managing aggravation. Before I used it the way it was meant to be used, I struggled with sensitive patients.
Split dosing is a wonderful tool for managing aggravation. Before I used it the way it was meant to be used, I struggled with sensitive patients.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
'The right remedy, at the right potency, given at the right dosage, will be ALMOST unnoticed by the patient.'
What is the 'almost'?
I'm not euphoric as I was at times with the Arnica 30C. But I have a sense of hope and validation which is extremely rare. I'm feeling no physical sensations that are not common with me daily like the liver area pressure, the joint issues...
I'm fine with waiting for some obvious sign, David. I don't want to jeopardize this process. I know it can't be rushed...
What is the 'almost'?
I'm not euphoric as I was at times with the Arnica 30C. But I have a sense of hope and validation which is extremely rare. I'm feeling no physical sensations that are not common with me daily like the liver area pressure, the joint issues...
I'm fine with waiting for some obvious sign, David. I don't want to jeopardize this process. I know it can't be rushed...
tahbi last decade
It means that when I question such patients, they will have noticed something out of the ordinary, but didn't associate it with the medicine, and it has been quite minor. Such a gentle reaction is the ideal of homoeopathic prescribing.
Not noticing anything yet might mean you have not reached that threshold where the medicine has pushed hard enough to get the curative reaction. Or it might mean the dose has been so gentle that the curative action will neutralize the disease without causing suffering.
However, my experience over the years is that without any aggravation, there is also no curative push back. One must create pressure to get the vital force to respond.
Not noticing anything yet might mean you have not reached that threshold where the medicine has pushed hard enough to get the curative reaction. Or it might mean the dose has been so gentle that the curative action will neutralize the disease without causing suffering.
However, my experience over the years is that without any aggravation, there is also no curative push back. One must create pressure to get the vital force to respond.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I trust your judgement, David. I'll check in tomorrow.
The reason it's so hard for me to know if there has been any change from the remedy is because I'm used to so many symptoms coming and going all the time. The big reaction that I had from the Arnica, while I was posting, is typical. There has been nothing at all like that with the cypraea. And the emotional stuff, as I mentioned, is lighter but that is most likely because there are not the typical issues right in my face right now. I have reason to have hope for healing. That's more than I've had. I still feel fear about the osteoporosis, mast cell dis-ease and all the rest, but I'm working very hard to keep taking walks and hikes even though I'm still like a slug on the couch every morning (yes, I know, the mollusc thing). I've been very successful sticking with the gluten-free, high alkaline diet and staying away from processed foods which has made me feel better. And I'm loving the preparation and eating the very simple but wholesome foods. I'm appreciating not being in major fear, drama, pain or being face to face with what I'm sure will be challenging as the healing process progresses. I do get scared about that but try to let it go. And there are the same old emotional challenges with family that I'm trying very hard not to dwell on.... I can't fix or change those.
I think that you may have given me a back door in the shell! Having hope and feeling validated for the first time in ages lets me see what's out there without the constant feeling of doom, and lets me trust going out there, knowing that there is hope. I've been working very hard on these changes for the last month especially so I really can't tell if it's from the remedy.
The reason it's so hard for me to know if there has been any change from the remedy is because I'm used to so many symptoms coming and going all the time. The big reaction that I had from the Arnica, while I was posting, is typical. There has been nothing at all like that with the cypraea. And the emotional stuff, as I mentioned, is lighter but that is most likely because there are not the typical issues right in my face right now. I have reason to have hope for healing. That's more than I've had. I still feel fear about the osteoporosis, mast cell dis-ease and all the rest, but I'm working very hard to keep taking walks and hikes even though I'm still like a slug on the couch every morning (yes, I know, the mollusc thing). I've been very successful sticking with the gluten-free, high alkaline diet and staying away from processed foods which has made me feel better. And I'm loving the preparation and eating the very simple but wholesome foods. I'm appreciating not being in major fear, drama, pain or being face to face with what I'm sure will be challenging as the healing process progresses. I do get scared about that but try to let it go. And there are the same old emotional challenges with family that I'm trying very hard not to dwell on.... I can't fix or change those.
I think that you may have given me a back door in the shell! Having hope and feeling validated for the first time in ages lets me see what's out there without the constant feeling of doom, and lets me trust going out there, knowing that there is hope. I've been working very hard on these changes for the last month especially so I really can't tell if it's from the remedy.
tahbi last decade
The process I use for finding a remedy, is very therapeutic in itself, although add the right remedy to that and it is also very powerful.
Sensation prescribers believes that the journey is as important as the destination, so how we guide the patient is as relevent to healing as finding the simillimum.
Sensation prescribers believes that the journey is as important as the destination, so how we guide the patient is as relevent to healing as finding the simillimum.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Hi David,
I'm getting some deep pains in my left big toe and other similar but lighter quick pains in my fingers and hands which often feel arthritic in addition to the dupuytren's. Hopefully the cypraea is responsible. I do know I have had gouty symptoms at times in my big toes but not for a while.
So maybe it is working.... or my hiking boots are just too worn out.
I'm getting some deep pains in my left big toe and other similar but lighter quick pains in my fingers and hands which often feel arthritic in addition to the dupuytren's. Hopefully the cypraea is responsible. I do know I have had gouty symptoms at times in my big toes but not for a while.
So maybe it is working.... or my hiking boots are just too worn out.
tahbi last decade
That's what I thought and am hoping for, though they may be just the ongoing fleeting joint pains. I ate asparagus tonight and I think I've gotten random joint pains before from them. It's no big deal. I just wanted to document it. The pressure in my liver area is intense also but probably because I ate too much. It's pushing hard on my lower ribs like it does.
I'll post an update tomorrow.
Thanks.....
I'll post an update tomorrow.
Thanks.....
tahbi last decade
Hi David,
I really don't have a clue as to whether or not the remedy had any effect at all. The toe pains the other day were from my shoe and the others were the same old aches and pains that are always ebbing and flowing with no real pattern. Today I definitely feel more down and tired and a sense of hopelessness creeping in. I think I'd feel better if I could read of long chronic, complex cases that were actually cured eventually, rather than just going on the hope that homeopathy feels way more right than allopathy, which can offer me nothing but bad stuff.
I'm very confused and feel worn out, which happens every time I feel hopeful about something. the bubble bursts and I try to just be and accept apathy rather than spiral way down.
I don't know how to give you an update on the remedy because I honestly don't know if it did anything at all. But I don't want to risk driving my issues deeper either.
I really don't have a clue as to whether or not the remedy had any effect at all. The toe pains the other day were from my shoe and the others were the same old aches and pains that are always ebbing and flowing with no real pattern. Today I definitely feel more down and tired and a sense of hopelessness creeping in. I think I'd feel better if I could read of long chronic, complex cases that were actually cured eventually, rather than just going on the hope that homeopathy feels way more right than allopathy, which can offer me nothing but bad stuff.
I'm very confused and feel worn out, which happens every time I feel hopeful about something. the bubble bursts and I try to just be and accept apathy rather than spiral way down.
I don't know how to give you an update on the remedy because I honestly don't know if it did anything at all. But I don't want to risk driving my issues deeper either.
tahbi last decade
It could also be an aggravation. Aggravation usually starts at around 3 days after the dose, peaks around 3-5 days, and will begin to diminish after about a week from the dose.
This means you are currently in that period where an aggravation will happen. It should be similar enough to your normal state that it feels like your normal state. It should also be only slightly worse than normal, so if we have dosed correctly it would actually be hard to tell the difference from what you would normally feel.
The improvement would of course be the primary method of assessing it as a good reaction.
This means you are currently in that period where an aggravation will happen. It should be similar enough to your normal state that it feels like your normal state. It should also be only slightly worse than normal, so if we have dosed correctly it would actually be hard to tell the difference from what you would normally feel.
The improvement would of course be the primary method of assessing it as a good reaction.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
It does not feel worse. It is very typical of how I respond to my daughter's emails which tell me very worrisome news about my granddaughter. I saw my Mom today who is non-responsive and whose eyes and face seem to show more neurological damage. So that is not easy. And I did not take the usual good walk today which usually is the best medicine for my mood. I certainly felt lighter yesterday than now but that was before the email and visit with my Mom.
So I think you are telling me to just wait until something changes in any way. But my symptoms are always changing. How can you treat with homeopathy if there is no clear response, better or worse?
I had asked if you had successfully treated anyone for osteoporosis or dupuytren's contracture, or if you know of reversal by other homeopaths. Could you please honestly answer that? It would only be for feeding a bit of hope. I understand enough about homeopathy to know that it is all case by case and totally dependent on the simillimum but my intellectual part needs to know that there is concrete possibility for reversing those issues. I do know you can not promise me or anyone else a definite cure.
So I think you are telling me to just wait until something changes in any way. But my symptoms are always changing. How can you treat with homeopathy if there is no clear response, better or worse?
I had asked if you had successfully treated anyone for osteoporosis or dupuytren's contracture, or if you know of reversal by other homeopaths. Could you please honestly answer that? It would only be for feeding a bit of hope. I understand enough about homeopathy to know that it is all case by case and totally dependent on the simillimum but my intellectual part needs to know that there is concrete possibility for reversing those issues. I do know you can not promise me or anyone else a definite cure.
tahbi last decade
There will be a response if the remedy is right. The main response that shows a positive reaction is of course improvement, but it may also be old symptoms returning or a worsening of current symptoms. This means that if there is any chance a remedy is making changes we have to wait to see what happens.
At worst nothing will change in this week, so we can look at repeating the dose, changing the dose, or changing the potency.
At worst nothing will change in this week, so we can look at repeating the dose, changing the dose, or changing the potency.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I meant to say no further progression of the osteoporosis and dupuytren's rather than reversal, which would be quite a huge miracle.
I'll update on Friday unless there is something to report earlier.
Nothing changing this week is not the worst, David. Severe reactions such as in the past would be. I'm still very thankful for your awareness and gentle dosing.
Are the mollusks with substantial shells known for supporting bone issues, like calc phos? If it is the right remedy I mean...
[message edited by tahbi on Mon, 07 Nov 2011 01:10:15 GMT]
I'll update on Friday unless there is something to report earlier.
Nothing changing this week is not the worst, David. Severe reactions such as in the past would be. I'm still very thankful for your awareness and gentle dosing.
Are the mollusks with substantial shells known for supporting bone issues, like calc phos? If it is the right remedy I mean...
[message edited by tahbi on Mon, 07 Nov 2011 01:10:15 GMT]
tahbi last decade
Of course if the remedy is wrong we won't get any changes either. But using this dosing method allows you to experiment with remedies without the consequences you get from other methods.
Every remedy will support bone tissue, because the vital energy supports it, and all a remedy does is correct the disturbance in the vital force. None of our remedies when used homoeopathically do anything except that, none had a targeted or local effect. So the right remedy will do everything it can to correct all problems in the person's health.
I have never treated anyone with your diagnosis before. I would have to google your conditions to see if anyone has published cases showing cure of them, although many cases are not open to the public for privacy reasons so even if I cannot find them does not mean they don't exist.
With homoeopathy it doesn't really matter about the name of your condition. Cure will come if the peculiar state of the patient and the remedy match - all disease is under the influence of the vital force, and that is under the influence of the remedy. Not having experience with a disease has never stopped me from curing it before.
Every remedy will support bone tissue, because the vital energy supports it, and all a remedy does is correct the disturbance in the vital force. None of our remedies when used homoeopathically do anything except that, none had a targeted or local effect. So the right remedy will do everything it can to correct all problems in the person's health.
I have never treated anyone with your diagnosis before. I would have to google your conditions to see if anyone has published cases showing cure of them, although many cases are not open to the public for privacy reasons so even if I cannot find them does not mean they don't exist.
With homoeopathy it doesn't really matter about the name of your condition. Cure will come if the peculiar state of the patient and the remedy match - all disease is under the influence of the vital force, and that is under the influence of the remedy. Not having experience with a disease has never stopped me from curing it before.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Thanks for your reply, David.
I know that the names are not important but osteoporosis is unfortunately so common I was especially curious about that. Thiosinaminum was recommended for the dupuytren's contracture and other adhesions and scar tissue I have, but I reacted very badly. It was not the total similimum as the mollusc seems to be and it was not given as a split dose. Systemic mastocytosis is extremely rare and most medical doctors have never heard of it. That dis-ease seems to fit the cypraea though. The masto is about over-protection, neoplastic, autoimmune. I was primed for it because of who I was and how I experienced my childhood, and then I was exposed to DDT or similar at around 9 years of age. I remember losing hearing and vision for a few days and being very sick to my stomach and in lots of pain. Other than the very high fevers as an infant, all of the many other strange symptoms happened after that poisoning.
There was also a theme of terror at the thought of my parents being killed by bombs, car crashes, etc. Three specific experiences really traumatized me - one being an awful nightmare that went on every night for years as a child.
[message edited by tahbi on Mon, 07 Nov 2011 02:45:47 GMT]
[message edited by tahbi on Mon, 07 Nov 2011 02:47:23 GMT]
I know that the names are not important but osteoporosis is unfortunately so common I was especially curious about that. Thiosinaminum was recommended for the dupuytren's contracture and other adhesions and scar tissue I have, but I reacted very badly. It was not the total similimum as the mollusc seems to be and it was not given as a split dose. Systemic mastocytosis is extremely rare and most medical doctors have never heard of it. That dis-ease seems to fit the cypraea though. The masto is about over-protection, neoplastic, autoimmune. I was primed for it because of who I was and how I experienced my childhood, and then I was exposed to DDT or similar at around 9 years of age. I remember losing hearing and vision for a few days and being very sick to my stomach and in lots of pain. Other than the very high fevers as an infant, all of the many other strange symptoms happened after that poisoning.
There was also a theme of terror at the thought of my parents being killed by bombs, car crashes, etc. Three specific experiences really traumatized me - one being an awful nightmare that went on every night for years as a child.
[message edited by tahbi on Mon, 07 Nov 2011 02:45:47 GMT]
[message edited by tahbi on Mon, 07 Nov 2011 02:47:23 GMT]
tahbi last decade
Hi David,
I just woke in a very hopeless, sad state which is worse than it's been in a while. Either it's because of my deep concern about my granddaughter's situation or I am aggravating. It's very close to the especially awful years once menopause hit six years ago which was finally lightened (but not gone) with the magnesium oil I began using last spring and continue now. Everything feels hopeless and very sad. I don't know what I'm doing here. I have no real purpose. I am a hamster on an endless exercise wheel. Due to my fatigue, health issues and hearing loss I have had no luck getting a job, even a volunteer job. I also feel so disgusted and hopeless about our planet, wild and wildlife... deep grief and anger at humans and their selfishness and arrogance. So hopefully this is an aggravation which will be valuable progress rather than the same old load.
The nightmare was ongoing for every night for at least a year in the 1950s. I was a very young, very sensitive child and there was so much propaganda about the bomb shelters that families should be building to save their lives from impending doom. Many families in the suburban neighborhood we lived in were building them but my dad was a brilliant physicist and told us repeatedly that bomb shelters would not save them from the atomic bomb because of many detailed reasons he gave. I felt it was just a matter of time before a bomb would get us and spare the neighbors who could peacefully survive in their own bomb shelters.
What I remember too clearly is waking up under my bed every morning in this dream. My hand, I think it was my right hand and arm extended as far as possible, reaching for my parents to save me. It was so very real and I can still see the tips of my fingers just barely able to reach my parents hands when there is a huge explosion and my parents have been blown up in pieces, leaving me very alone in terror. I would wake up under my bed crying my guts out without being able to stop the vision of the explosion and my parents blown to bits.
I just woke in a very hopeless, sad state which is worse than it's been in a while. Either it's because of my deep concern about my granddaughter's situation or I am aggravating. It's very close to the especially awful years once menopause hit six years ago which was finally lightened (but not gone) with the magnesium oil I began using last spring and continue now. Everything feels hopeless and very sad. I don't know what I'm doing here. I have no real purpose. I am a hamster on an endless exercise wheel. Due to my fatigue, health issues and hearing loss I have had no luck getting a job, even a volunteer job. I also feel so disgusted and hopeless about our planet, wild and wildlife... deep grief and anger at humans and their selfishness and arrogance. So hopefully this is an aggravation which will be valuable progress rather than the same old load.
The nightmare was ongoing for every night for at least a year in the 1950s. I was a very young, very sensitive child and there was so much propaganda about the bomb shelters that families should be building to save their lives from impending doom. Many families in the suburban neighborhood we lived in were building them but my dad was a brilliant physicist and told us repeatedly that bomb shelters would not save them from the atomic bomb because of many detailed reasons he gave. I felt it was just a matter of time before a bomb would get us and spare the neighbors who could peacefully survive in their own bomb shelters.
What I remember too clearly is waking up under my bed every morning in this dream. My hand, I think it was my right hand and arm extended as far as possible, reaching for my parents to save me. It was so very real and I can still see the tips of my fingers just barely able to reach my parents hands when there is a huge explosion and my parents have been blown up in pieces, leaving me very alone in terror. I would wake up under my bed crying my guts out without being able to stop the vision of the explosion and my parents blown to bits.
tahbi last decade
One more thing that is very hard to admit to...
I have felt many times, especially since menopause, that I have not been successful in turning my health issues around even though I have worked so very hard to do so, because there must be a very old, death wish. Often there is a deep sense that I have failed life, which certainly comes from strong messages in my childhood. Although I know I'm a very good, caring person, I often feel as though even though my dad is no longer alive, I have taken over his job of being critical and judgmental of me. As if he is sitting on my shoulder...
I was about to write something about my very special Grandmother but it brought up too much emotion so it needs to wait until I feel stronger.
[message edited by tahbi on Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:58:48 GMT]
I have felt many times, especially since menopause, that I have not been successful in turning my health issues around even though I have worked so very hard to do so, because there must be a very old, death wish. Often there is a deep sense that I have failed life, which certainly comes from strong messages in my childhood. Although I know I'm a very good, caring person, I often feel as though even though my dad is no longer alive, I have taken over his job of being critical and judgmental of me. As if he is sitting on my shoulder...
I was about to write something about my very special Grandmother but it brought up too much emotion so it needs to wait until I feel stronger.
[message edited by tahbi on Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:58:48 GMT]
tahbi last decade
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