Effexor withdrawl and symptoms, please help _{Page 3 of 140}

Hey page626!
You're a teacher?
Regent

Louann,
Hey! How you feeling today? I wanted to reply to you because it sounds like you and I have the same early symptoms. Although it has been awhile since your last post, hopefully you are feeling better. The part about your eyes hurting and dizziness when you move them. That really bothers me, it almost feels like my brain gets stuck to the side for a moment and it is a moment before it recovers.
I am on day 1 1/2 of none of the evil pills. The nightmares I had last night were intensely terrifying. They seemed to be horrifying creatures that would lure me in and then appear as the satan himself. This stinks!
Respectfully,
Regent

Hey Regent...hope your doing okay today. If you read my previous posts, I am going through hell myself! But I am now down to one 75mg pill every two days. I had to take one this morning on my way to work so I wouldn't swerve off the road from all the "brain zaps". But I have to admit, it's getting better and better. You also brought up that your eyes hurt when you move them. I have never heard of anyone else describing that! I have that when I'm tired AND haven't taken a pill in a day or two. If you want to talk, let me know! I'm always here and looking for others who are going through this. I'm hoping to start a support group of some sort...I'll let you all know if you're interested! Take Care!!

Hey wendybird,
So in essence, you are taking 37.5mg daily? Do you take it all at once or break it up into two? I couldn't stand it, and went in for my script refill. I initially opened the capsule and divided a 37.5 mg in half, poured the evil little beads into yogurt and ate. I ended up doing the whole 75mg., a few hours later. I had to go watch my son's girlfriend play indoor soccer, so I needed to be able to at least be coherant.
Yes...my eyes hurt when I move them, only it isn't really a pain, it's a dizziness when I try and refocus. Like a head rush, or if you have ever looked into severely high prescription lenses and then looked away suddenly. I have noticed though...mind games really play a big factor. Like right now as I write to you and look straight ahead, concentrate on one thing, that it doesn't feel so weird. Doesn't it seem to you that a PHD would be able to prescribe some sort of drug that would alter the severe symptoms of this, and NOT cause chemical addiction? I have to say, that my biggest problem with this drug, (other than the fact that it hurts me), is that I cannot handle the weight gain anymore. I have reached that wonderful age of 40 something, when it all goes to hell anyway, and I am not willing to let some drug rule my life nor my weight. I cannot believe the weight I've gained! I am getting married (probably) in the fall, and have my sights set on a beautiful wedding gown, only I do not want to look like a beached whale. I want my future husband to see me walk down the aisle and be in awe. I want to be in awe of my body as well. I was a size 6 a year ago, and have to try on size 12 pants now. YIKES!!!! AND...I eat a small rushed breakfast, a turkey wrap for lunch and a small portion of our families main meal in the evening. No cheating, no fast food, no fun!!!!! I eat yogurt, bananas and sometimes peanuts (if I want to overindulge), for a snack.
I would love a support group! Have you seen that 'ccreel' has a support group? Sounds to me that this guy has done some research> He posted on 1/22/05. I think I am going to go check it out. He mentions it in his post.
Write me later if you want, I have a feeling that I'll be up again all night.

Respectfully yours,
Regent

so............
what about a lawsuit?????? i am going to go to our local bullet lawyer, show him this sight, and keep a journal of my withdrawl, maybe even take pictures, cause i know that i am not a pretty picture during all of this. a journal will help myself and the lawyer to track the withdrawl, compare and conquer the drug companies. i intend to let my lawyer be in close contact with me throughout this process, even if he has to get phone calls at 3:00 am as i wreathe in pain.
let me know what you all think. maybe if we all talked to a lawyer, got them involved physically with this, brought them all together, via modern technology, maybe just maybe we could put an end to this madness.
by the way...has anybody noticed that our topic is the biggest on the sight?
has anybody noticed that without insurance paying for the drug, my particular prescription cost $279.00 per month!!!!!!! that is more than i spend on groceries for my family. another thing...take one of those 37.5 capsules apart...you could probably count the small amount of beads there are. when i split mine in half, i held one half in the palm of my hand, and said to myself, "how could this small amount of nothing, control my life"?
sorry, just another thought!!!!
respectfully,
regent

okay, so it is almost 1:00 am, yep no sleep, because of dizziness!!! i have found the healing benefits of vodka, and think that i may sleep well tonite. i know, i know, it's not the answer. but i am so f*****g tired of this drug and how it controls my life......... please respond to my previous post about the law suit. by the way....did i mention to any of you that i no longer have health insurance, so the treatments and doctors visits come out of my pocket. did i mention that the evil drug effexor cost 279.00 dollars per month. what do you do....feed your family and take care of them or do yourself in? did i mention thast i am a single mom, because, my f******g x husband decided that he didn't like me anymore. i have just recieved notice that my home is being forclosed on. am i a little intoxicated and feeling sorry for myself? yes!!!!!!!
the little f****r left me a year ago after letting me support him for a year while he attended classes and i fell behind on payments, one day he just decided that he didn't want to be married anymore and left. so...here i am..............................................................................................................................................
respectfully yours,
lori ann sisson
aka>>>regent

Hi Regent,
I've really been touched by your postings. It's been 8 1/2 days since I've taken 1/4 of a 75mg. tablet for me!!! I can't believe it-hopefully I won't revert back to these nasty little pills. It is amazing how these pills get control of our minds & bodies too. I've always been thin my whole life. I am 5'8" tall and have weighed 130 lbs from High School until I had my 2nd baby 5 years ago. Now I weigh 155 and I can't believe it's me. I keep trying to tell myself it's because I've hit the big 4-0. Anyway, please hang in there, I don't feel wonderful yet; I want to sleep till lunchtime everyday and have trouble going to sleep before 2 am. Does anyone else have this problem? My husband just yelled at me again this morning because I was still in bed at 11:00 (kid's don't have school) so what's the big deal? It's not like I can't wait to start the 4 big loads of laundry waiting for me. OOO, so exciting. My lingering symptoms are can't get to sleep, don't like to get up earlier than noon, increased anxiousness, blowing up quickly for no good reason (I'm working really hard on this one) by taking a deep breathe and telling myself it's not that important, keep calm.. Bla Bla Bla. But I am not going to let these drs and Drug Company make a guinea pig of me. Sorry to hear of your lack of insurance coverage for this crap too. That's one of the main reasons I've started to wean myself off this junk. At the end of June, I too lose my prescription coverage and simply can't afford paying $200.00+/month for it. Also, lost my home as a child (thanks, Dad) and sympathize with you on that too. You've got alot on your plate now, but you do have friends here who care about your well being and will continue to give you our support. Don't feel bad about having to take a few of these little white beads in your yogurt (we've all done it), but going very slowly is the key. I hope!! I still want to be the svelte happy go lucky Mom I was 5-10 years ago and I'm nowhere near there yet. But I'm going to keep going and you are too. Take care and God bless us ALL..Rinky.

not to be negative but i have spoken to a lawyer about a lawsuit against wyeth.he said if i havent committed suicide or attempted suicide he couldnt help with a suit.although i can show a pattern of negative things within my life that all began to happen very shortly after starting effexor.stronger deppression,job changes,mood swings,changes from great credit to bankruptcy, is this coincidence or is this the reminence of another drug that slipped by the fda that no one wants to be accountable to? put me in line for the class action. this drug took away a portion of my life i should be compensated.

Hey page626!
You weren't being negative, only frustrated. Besides, just because you didn't succumb to any attempts on your life, what about the others that have? I think I might put together a survey and post it here, so we know what the numbers are for everything. Divorce, Financial problems, marriage counseling, suicidal thoughts, attempts, etc... I started to post earlier today when our server went down at school. I wanted to know if anybody else has stumbled upon the websites that are promoting effexor for weight gain! Apparently there are people who need to gain weight. I remember my doctor telling me once when I was asking him for an alternative medication, that effexor doesn't tend to effect weight. I think my doctor thinks I'm an idiot, and I'll just take his word for anything, because I mean after all HE is the trained professional.
I feel really, really crappy today...the nausea and body, joint aches have begun, as well as that taste in your mouth that I've heard about. I was thinking about copying some pages from this forum and presenting them to my boss, so that he will know what maybe to expect. I ended up leaving school today because I feared throwing up in front of my students. As soon as I stand up, those nausea acids start churning in my stomach. This really sucks.
This has nothing to do with our subject, I just thought people might be interested...My younger brother, wife and his family will be leaving this month to accompany his mother and father in law overseas, somewhere in China, (not sure yet what the city is). Their family reached their wits end regarding medical treatment in this country. His father in law, (Gene) began pre-treatments here in the states several months ago in cooperation with the physicians overseas. He will be receiving stem cell treatments in their last efforts at saving his life. He was diagnosed with Lou Gehrigs disease about 2 years ago now. Talk about a debilitating disease! For the family as well. Gene was a vivacious 40 something man, Horse breeder, dog breeder, and a brand new grandson. Now he barely can hold his head up. But he's tough, he must be, because I have read alot about the disease, and it sounds to me like it's pretty rapid. I think 2 years is a long time. Another reason for me to believe he has been misdiagnosed!!!!! Forgive me please if there are those of you that don't believe in the stem cell research. I certainly don't want to offend anyone. I guess my beliefs were tested as well, don't know one way or the other really. All I know is when you watch one of your favorite best people in the world dying, everything changes!
Take care everybody. I'm already feeling a real kinship to you all.
Respectfully,
Regent

I'm so happy to have found this site...it's nice to know I'm not the only one out there having a hell of a time with effexor withdrawl.

I've tapered down to the point that I'm taking 35mg every other day, but those days off the drug are horrible. I can deal with the emotional effects and even the dizziness (I use benedryl for that) but the brain zaps are killing me.

Hey Jolie,
Welcome! I haven't had bad brain zaps yet. Sounds like you and I are about equal in our withdrawl stages. Suggestion...So you won't be going cold turkey one day on and one day off. open the capsule up and put it in applesauce or yogurt. 1/2 of a 37.5 mg capsule . You will be surprised at the small amount of tiny evil beads that rule your life. So look at them as you (SHALL I SAY) HAVE them IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND! look at them and say, "listen you little "s___s" you will not conquer me" And slam dunk them into a spoonfull of yummy strawberry, banana creamy (I prefer custard style) yogurt and demolish them!!! Or you could stuff them into a big piece of chocolate ganache' covered cheesecake and really feel powerful!!!!!!!!!! That doesn't sound half bad. I mean, as long as we are all gaining weight on this evil stuff, we may as well enjoy it.
Just got off the phone with my lawyer. He liked the idea of keeping journals, reporting to a second party throughout, and trying to jump on the band wagon with any class actions that are going on. FDA is in the back pocket of everybody big, (I KNOW)-(DUH?!?!?!?) but...if somebody can sue mcdonalds for hot coffee and Philip Morris for cancer and making them dependant on smokes...Why can't we?
Gotta Go
Respectfully,
Regent

Ok, what's going on? It's been 9 days since I've taken 1/4 of a 75 mg pill and for the passed 8 days have felt half decent. Today, I woke up feeling really bad all over again. Anybody else go this long and have a relapse. I am so close to putting a couple of beads in some applesauce it's not even funny. It's pretty bad when you hope you're getting the flu instead of continually battling Effexor withdrawl. I have the hot & cold sweats again, the nausea again, the really bad irritability again. And how is it possible to be so hungry & so nauseous at the same time? I wish I could hide in my bed & sleep until it's all over. Maybe, I'm just getting sick, yeah that's it. Is is possible to feel so hungry all the time trying to get off this stuff. I didn't know Effexor is prescribed for people who need to gain weight until I read it here. That's unbelievable; I'm sure it's all part of the drug companies little conspiracy to keep us hooked on this. We feel so hungry and miserable off of it that we go back on it and gain even more weight. Anybody, have the same hunger issue as me? Thanks for listening to me ramble on, I apologize. I'm just so frustrated in this 9th day of withdrawl I wish I could scream. Not at anyone here though, you all know what the evil little withdrawl symptoms are like. Thanks for listening to me again.

I glanced over the amazing amount of posts in the last 24 hours and I hope everyone is feeling a little bit better. I will go back and read each post in more detail. I have been researching class action lawsuits also and there really isn't anything. A few state specific one's, but you have to live there AND have major medical problems caused by the Effexor to even qualify. I guess having major mental and physical meltdowns isn't a big enough problem to these people. Also, to answer your question Regent, I don't break the pills open yet. I will be starting that next week. Rinky, I have been going through the same crap. Feeling okay with my measly dose and then all of a sudden wanting to take two just to feel better! If that isn't addicted, I don't know what is. Oh, the weight gain thing. Good lord. I have put on about 75 pounds in the last two years. I have always been a little bigger, but I went from a size 12 to a size 20. I hate to blame anything for "weight gain" but it has been pretty obvious to me that this contributes a lot more than any pill should. My email is wendyblabs!yahoo,com (didn't know you couldn't post that info on here! LOL) if anyone wants it. I can only get online after work and I'm on the West coast. So I'm going to go for now and try to get some sleep. On top of all this stuff, I have had chronic stomach pain due to massive adhesions from a previous surgery and now they found two small masses growing in my stomach. I see a surgeon Friday and sounds like I'll be in surgury very soon to find out what that's all about. I'm thinking about you all, have a good night.

PS I always feel like I'm doing nothing but whining and crying about this, but I feel better getting it out, I hope you all feel the same and never worry about venting! :)

Hi everyone!
Yep...same with me as far as one day good, one day bad, or half day good, other half bad. Tell me about the hunger. It's 2 a.m. here and i lay in bed thinking about a french dip sandwich, so...i got up and ate one.
Big thing for me tonite was, a trip to the E.R. Anybody else experiencing a very enlarged pregnant looking belly? Vomited once today, just out of the blue in the parking lot. No, I am not pregnant. That was the first thing the nurse asked and tested for. My upper abdomen is so huge, it's unbelievable. Lots of blood work, nothing abnormal. How do you think I felt walking out of the ER. The nurses and doctors were probably having a field day laughing at me, because all it was is fatness!!!!!! Now girls, thing is, I am a singer/performer and I cannot fit into any of my costumes. This is driving me nuts. I have always been very proud of the shape I keep myself in. In fact...I'm 43 years old, and was carded 4 weeks 3 days and 29 seconds ago when I wanted to buy a pack of smokes. (Yes, I know the exact time of the event), kind of like remembering where you were when John Lennon was shot. Unfortunately I did not have my ID on me, but I didn't even care...I jumped across the counter and planted a big fat kiss on the cashier. It's the freckles. Anyway, wendybird, I'll be praying for you. What time is your doc appointment Friday? I like to pray specifically when it comes to things like that. I've been amazed!!!! I also feel like I'm whining an awful lot, and you are right, it is so good to get it all out. too bad we all didn't live near by. We could all hold up in a remote cabin somewhere, with lots of wine and smokes, and go through this together. How cool would that be?!? Rinky, you probably are getting sick, it is flu season. If I were you, try and take a day to just sleep. I know that's hard to do, impossible for some. But well worth the little bit of burden you may have to ask someone else to carry for you while you get better. I honestly think that is happening to me as well. I work in the computer labs (as you probably know), I disinfected last week and really stirred up alot of germs. We have had on average at least 20 students a day that are absent, just from my tech ed classes. So I have all these infected kids coming in, sneezing, coughing and then laying their hands on my computers, my desk, and chairs. It was inevitable. Saturday morning, after the week of disinfecting, I woke up with the ugliest case of pink eye. Tonite my throat is very sore and my lymph glands are swollen. Speaking of hurting...that dang nurse nailed me on the way out with her (what looked to me) to be a needle the size of a pencil. As she pulled the syringe out after drawing my blood, the needle turned and must have scratched my vein lining. I now have a huge hemangioma and shooting pain down my arm. One more thing before I go. I don't know how confident I was with the ER doc. When I told him about the withdrawl symptoms I was having...headache, dizziness, nausea, lightheadedness, uncoordination etc. etc... He looked at me with all concern and said..."well I've never heard of those symptoms before?!?" What the heck is up with that. I think my 5 year old daughter knows more about it than he does. Do you think, he listens to his patients? Nother thing, okay...I presented at the ER with swollen, numb, tingling fingers, swollen abdomen, and shortness of breath. I never even saw the man touch a stethescope. Didn't take one listen to my heart or breathing. I did find out however that I have Carpel Tunnel. Thus the tingling in my fingers. I was so frustrated that I had just spent money on this doctor that I just wanted out of there, no questions asked. okay, ladies and gents, gotta go...
Respectfully
Regent

i am taking the day off from work. the kids are all in school and the house is quiet. have i ever mentioned that we have 6 children (god love 'em) ranging in ages 2-17. potty training to heartbreak. i thank my god everyday that my babies are awesome. my 17 year old son is my best friend, and all the siblings love and respect each other beyond my wildest dreams. they really take care of each other. my 17 year old son, is on the lookout for for any boys that look twice at his little 13 year old sister. may i brag here for just a moment...? my 17 year old made scholar athlete this year, and i am so proud as i watch him interact with his friends, coaches and peers. he's a well respected young man. my 13 year old daughter has just been voted in the mock elections..."most likely to become famous". like her mom, if their is a stage near by...she's on it. she has the most awesome group of friends as well. (a true blessing) the rest of the kids, well...we're working on them. jazper our 2 year old is testing our limits. but so did the rest of them at that age. okay, i'm done. i'm going to go get some tylenol pm and take a really long nap. by the way, i keep having brain zaps today. tell me again all the dosages you are all on. maybe we should all take them at the same time everyday, same dosages (if applicable to us) and then monitor our symptoms together. let me know if anybody is interested in the little test. hang in there!
respectfully,
regent

Hi everyone, so glad to hear someone else is so hungry all the time too. I feel pretty good today, although I was up till 2:30 this am. It's so wierd, I dragged around all day then about 10:00 last night, I started feeling better. I even straighened up the house, loaded the dishwasher, did laundry, ironing, put clothes away!! I just couldn't settle down enough to go to sleep but sure could've use a few extra hours this morning. Yep, I didn't even take any little evil beads either. Kinda glad my husband is on the road, so he doesn't see this side of me. Well after 16 years he's pretty used to my habits, but this withdrawl stuff has got him a little worried, I think. He calls me all day long to see if I'm feeling better and what my latest symptoms are.

I read about Andrea Yates (The mom that drowned her 5 kids in the tub) on the internet last night and think that was another reason I couldn't sleep. She too was on Effexor & Wellbutrin (along with a bunch of other drugs) but still. How unsettling. I didn't even mention that to my husband - that would really make him worry while on the road.

I also read on the internet last night that exercise is so beneficial in keeping the weight gain & depression from this stuff at bay. Well, duh!! I hope they realize that it is very tough to "snap" yourself out of the depression enough to want to go walking or exercising. All I wanted to do yesterday was exercise my way to the fridge and do a couple of elbow lifts.

Anyway, I'm going to go out and walk the dog now (it's 20 degrees out & the snow is blowing) so maybe I can keep my weight from getting too out of hand. It just irks me when doctor's tell you in order to fight depression & weight gain you have to exercise. No kidding!!

Keep the faith everyone. Rinky.

For help with withdrawal and recovery

Yahoo Groups Withdrawal_and_Recovery

Group Description:

This group is here to assist you in the careful withdrawal and recovery from the use of psychiatric drugs including antidepressants, benzodiazepines, and antipsychotics.


Please introduce yourself and tell us your story. Numerous others have courageously discontinued these drugs and gone on to lead full lives. We'd like to assist you in accomplishing the same.


Our focus is on withdrawal and recovery utilizing nutrients, homeopathy, flower essences, a few herbs (most are not suited to those in early recovery), and proper diet as medicine. We also explore and support emotional and spiritual health.

Hello everybody,
I am crying so hard right now, that I can hardly breathe. Day four of 18 3/4 mg evil pill. I took my engagement ring off my finger and gave it back for the stupidest reason. What's worse, the pain in my head or the pain in my broken heart? It is so hard because my beautiful, loving, supportive fiance' doesn't know how to deal with and all this crazy emotional stuff. He is afraid to even talk for fear that I am going to take it the wrong way. He is afraid to be his wonderful self! I am soooooo crying for no reason right now. Thank God you are all here, and I have someplace to write my confused, irratic thought processes.I just want this to end. I wish I had a camcorder to record my stupid behavior and send it to WYETH labs. I wish I could shove these evil beads up their mouth and make them all go through this. I am so sorry for this stupid post. I just don't have anybody to understand the way you all do. Will this go away???????????????????????????
Do you know that almost one year ago, on easter sunday, I checked myself into the emergency room, with suicidal thoughts. The ER doc sent me home on effexor! Get out the little piece of paper that comes with your script and read the indications. First and foremost precaution, and I quote, "EFFEXOR XR can make some conditions worse. Tell your doctor about all your medical problems. Be sure to tell your doctor if you have or had:
#1 Suicidal thoughts, #5, symptoms of mania or hypomania, such as persistently elavated or irritable mood, a decresed need for sleep, racing thoughts, hyperactivity and rapid excessive speech.", end of quote....The whole reason I checked myself in to the hospital that lonely evening was because I felt their was no reason to live anymore.
My prescription was filled the following day!!!!!!
Get some rest!
Respectfully
Regent

I've been reading through this thread and I really feel for all of you going through such terrible times.
There are no homeopaths giving advice, because frankly, where do you start?
There may be a way to do this and give you some relief, it is known as Isopathy.
This is not Homeopathy, which is remedy by similar.
Isopathy means remedy by exact same.
As a classical homeopath, I have my reasons for not using this method but I think you should at least know about another avenue of treatment. It is much like Homeopathy but you have to make the remedy your self.
Like this: take one of the effexor pills, brake it open and crush the pills between two spoons, and empty the contents into a small glass jar, one preferably with a lid on it. Buy a bottle of distilled water, pour this over the crushed pills with maybe an inch of water over them, put the lid on and shake vigorously. leave it to settle for a couple of hours. Then pour the top water( not too much of the pill) into another glass jar the same size with a lid, add another inch of new distilled water, pound it into the palm of your hand, or onto the thigh, or onto a pile of papers, do this one hundred times.
Pour most of it away, leaving a few drops in the bottom, fill another inch of water into the same jar, (discard the first one you don't need this again) and pound away for another hundred times. Do this proccess over, five times at least, more if you want, but this should be enough.
Having diluted this evil stuff it should work as a homeopathic remedy does, which brings me to the hard bit.
Remedy reaction.
What I worry about is the self harm type of thing that may come up. For those of you that have someone around who can monitor you for the first couple of days it should be OK. Remedies work like a tape recorder in reverse, symptoms come back but not always, and not in the same time frame usually it passes fast you don't notice, but with this stuff I have no way to tell.
There is a way to calm everything down, but this crisis needs to come on to get this toxic crap out. So if you feel you really can't take no more, you take the last diution you made and put a couple of drops, only in a drinking glass, half fill with water, swirl it around a few times , throw contents away, do this twelve, tentyfour, thirtysix times, depending on the severity of the reaction, you may get to be OK without any, but everyone is different, so I'm trying to cover all bases. The more dilute this becomes the mellower it gets and should ease any really bad trips you may get.
Before you start, if there are any questions or misgivings you might have, post here, they won't allow email addresses.
I'll do my best to answer you.
Regards and prayers
parachute

Washington Homeopathics will make isopthic remedies as will Ainsworths in the UK.

It should be done this way because LM doses work best for this.


Catherine

Catherine,
Could you explain that last post from parachute for me? Once I get to work, i am going to do some more research on the words and remedies I didn't understand. If you read my last post, you probably could tell that I was going through a totally uncontrollable emotional upset. I felt soooooooo bad last night. All symptoms at once it seemed. I had gone to the store earlier that day to see if I could get any of the natural remedies you've been mentioning, when I came across this stuff called 'Chaser' "freedom from hangovers". For me at least, it seems like I am functioning in a constant state of hangover. i.e. bed spin feeling, bad equalibrium, loss of coordination, shakes and enormous headache. So....I bought some and used as directed (sort of), you are suppose to take the pill with your first drink and then 2 more caplets every two to three hours (or five to six drinks) thereafter. It seemed to work. I feel great this morning (so far) I woke up feeling very rested and ready to take on the day (so far, so good) These are the active ingredients: Serving size 2 caplets * activated calcium carbonate 650mg * Vegetable carbon 350mg * Other ing. Whey, microcrystalline cellulose, silicon dioxide, croscarmellose sodium, stearic acid, caranuba wax, magnesium stearate. It sounds pretty scary. I just don't like the thought of replacing one drug with another. All I know right now is that it worked. What do you think? Oh by the way...it is made in usa and distributed by living essentials. I just found a website for them which I intend to visit. It is www.doublechaser.com
Respectfully,
Regent

Hey guys and gals,
I'm going to try and give you my e-mail address without actually giving it to you, if you know what I mean. different format. I think you will get it....
my username is: lorisiss my server is: yahoo If anyone wants to e-mail me directly...please do!
Sincerely,
Regent

Hi everyone!
I have posted a few posts on here, but fell back into a depression state to where I was not getting on the computer or talking to anyone on the phone. I have read the latest post, and can SO understand what you all are going through. ( Especially with Regent)!
I have too been having horrible moodswings and anger out burst. I do not even feel that half of the things I say are true, but I do know this and that is if I do not get a grip on things soon, I will have managed to push my husband away and my 4 boys, cause you can't take back the bad things you say or say enough sorries! I feel so alone and I can be SO mean and it hurts my heart bad! I am not the same person that my husband married 8 yrs. ago and was a much sweeter mom. I have been off Effexor now for almost 2 months( I think) I have not been keeping track, me BAD! I have been keeping track of my Amoryn though, and it has been 3 weeks now. I feel more energy and not so tiered all the time, but surely could use some help with my emotions and anger problems. It is the littlest things that can put me in the most foul moods, I do not get it!
My husband is now under the impression that I am sick of him and my marriage because I am always so moody and not in the mood ever for loving if you know what I mean, but he is not understanding me or what I am going through and it just makes me more frusterated that he is taking it so personal when it has nothing to do with him! I love him very much and would not want to exchange him or my family for anyone else. I keep telling him this, but he does not get it! Do you know the new song from Shania Twain DONT? I keep playing it for him cause I feel as if sometimes he just wants to say forget it, I am done. I cry SO much that I do not know if I have anymore tears to cry. I used to be such a fun person to be around and was a very playful Mom, but these days I have turned into the witch of the Pacific North West! Seriously! I feel for you all and keep you all in my prayers and have faith that we can get through this horrible event in our lives. I check the forum everday, I hope to hear from you all and take care! Talk to you all soon!
Sincerely, April

Hey April (AKA) Featherston99,
I wondered where you had gone to? It's not like you don't have enough on your plate!!!!!In regards to your relationship with your husband...I have been out of an abusive (emotionally) marriage now for almost 2 years. I'm not even implying this on you, please don't think I am. My self esteem was at the lowest point before collapse. Even when he left I thought I was going to just die. Until now.......What a blessing. What I am about to say is so simple...If you are in a mutually fullfilling marriage and both respect each other and love each other, and most importantly by far...Can laugh with each other...Set aside one evening each week, (NO EXCEPTIONS), it should be the same day every week, to be alone together.My fiance' and I have been doing this for 8 months (not missing one), thanks to his mother who insists and knows the importance of it. (she keeps the kids overnight)Did I mention that we have 6 kids!!!!!! Anyway. not only is it refreshing...it has really become quite exciting throughout the week when my fiance and I take turns coming up with the evening plans. You'd be surprised at how many fun days you can plan. One of the most recent for us, was Jan. 28th, my birthday. The whole day was probably the best day I can remember. First thing in the morning, Jeff (my fiance') brought all the kids to my bedside early in the morning to sing happy birthday, then off to work for both of us. Next, He arranged for the Superintendent of Schools to present flowers to me in the middle of my class with a heartfelt rendition of happy birthday from the superintendent. Two bouquets of flowers...one from Jeff, the other from my son, Cody. On to the evening...Cody's basketball game, gymnasium filled with pretty much the whole town, Superintendent calls me over to the scoreboard table, over the microphone. Complete silence in the gym. I wondered what our crazy superintendent had up his sleeve this time. He is a very fun loving guy!!! Much to my surprise, I turn around and there stands Jeff, who then takes the microphone, gets down on one knee and asks me to marry him. And then, all these people started coming out of the stands to give me flowers or hugs or whatever. He had arranged it all with the school, basketball coaches, and my very best friends. The really cool thing about our night out, is that we know it is coming, the planning and anticipation helps to overcome the stresses of day to day family life. It certainly sounds like you need this. Try and remember why it is that you wanted to have 4 beautiful children with this man. Also...read the book..."Who moved my cheese" Very short absolutely amazing book! I've gotta go, bells gonna ring. PLEASE DO THIS FOR YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOURSELF!!!!
Respectfully,
Regent

Hi Regent,
Thank you very much for your kind words and great advice. I think we could maybe find time once a week just for us, but it will be hard. Our life has not quit been a bed of roses, but I am thankful for all the blessings that have happened. I was married before I met my current husband(Mark). My two oldest boys are from that relationship and I then had two boys with Mark. Bless your heart... having 6 childeren! I thought my plate was full! lol
I have pushed ALL my friends away, so I therfor do not get out much unless it is an outing as a family. My husband is my BEST friend, but he does not seem to understand that I need girl time alone. He feels that I should only have friends who are married as well, cause all the friends that I did have that were single tried to destroy our marriage, so I can kinda see his point of veiw, but I still feel it is important to have girlfriends that I can see and talk too. I have instead resorted to visiting forums to have someone to talk too, but it's not really the same cause I don't get to see them or spend time with them. I am not really a outgoing type of person, so it is really hard for me to make new friends as well as making friends with quality people who have the same responsabilities and priorities as I do. I don't really even stay in contact with my side of the family, only Mark's. His family is everything that mine isn't, so that is more of a choice on my part.lol
I honestly think that Mark and I are around eachother to much due to that he has a neck injury that requires him to stay home 24/7 and I don't work either due to that my baby with Cerebral Palsy requires so much of my time. I don't mind though cause I love them both to pieces, but feel as if I have no time for ME. My life is all about Mark and the boys and sometimes it just gets a little overwhelming, especially when I'm always so depressed and battling so many emotions on my own inside. It just helps sometimes to have someone to talk to who knows what your going through. Regent, if you ever want to personally e-mail me I would love to stay in contact with you. My name is April Featherston and I have email through msn, so maybe you can put it together and should be able to figure out my address. I would love to have an online friend since I'm really lacking friends at this time in my life! LOL....
I wish my husband was as creative as yours, but I guess since he doesn't get out much, unless he is with me, it would make it kinda hard for him, but maybe there is still some hope?
Are you a teacher? I thought that is what you wrote, but I may have misunderstood. My boys are 11,8,5 and 19 mo. How old are your kids? They sure can consume alot of our time, but the pay off is well worth it! I cherrish them with all my heart, but just get so frusterated at times and need my own time out. I just hope I can find some time soon before I go insain both mentally, physically and emotionally, LoL....
Well, Regent I'll stop blabbing now and let you go, I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to write back. Take care and remember I'll keep you in my prayers! I hope to get to know you more.
Sincerely, April

"who moved my cheese" what a great bit of advice for everyone on this sight.i pick it up til this day just to remind myself where i am and where i want to go.....great idea regent